Well, you can rest your little Islamic fundamentalist heart, because now
a professional American writer will clean up the bad grammar of your
poorly worded death threat for you,
all for a modest fee. And you can be sure that your message will be
right on target... er, that you will get more bang for your buck... er,
well, you know what I mean.
Just pick your option from the list below. I am a member of the
Writers Guild of America, West, and I
have been writing screenplays, editing books, and similar works for over 25
years. You can review some of my scripts
here. You can read my
thoroughly researched work Between Christ and Mohammed
here. And you can preview my
new novel
Ameristan, too. If you're an
Islamic fundamentalist, I'm sure you'll
really like the story, 'cuz you
guys win!
I even served for a while as a radio correspondent in, horror of
horrors, Jerusalem! I created this web page after
my brother and I began
receiving
poorly worded death threats from
around the world! I felt these people should communicate their threats a
little bit better than they were doing, so after receiving the first 70
threats, I figured I might as well be compensated for my work.
New Translation Partner Announced
We're taking this opportunity to announce a new partnership between
Strategic Arabic Translations and
this humble writer. That's right, now the highly-regarded
Laura Mansfield will review your
poor Arabic, as well. So when you Sunnis send a death threat to a
Shi'ite, or vice-versa, all you have to do is just send us a copy of
your hate missive before you ignite that cordite or set off that
C-4. Laura will review your poor grammar, in Arabic or in English, and
she'll send along a correction so you don't look and sound like the
moron you are. Note that you'll still be a moron, but your poor
grammar won't make you look or sound like one.
So, if you wish to take advantage of my editing services or Laura
Mansfield's translation service, we'll correct
the bad grammar, poor spelling, and other problems you may have in your
death threat. Just click on the buttons and then send the first draft of
your death threats on to me. I will forward a copy on to Laura Manfield
and we'll correct the inevitable errors and return
the email to you.
You can be assured that your “target”
will understand and appreciate a cogently worded death threat from the
hand of Allah and you, his messenger! After all, how will your target
know that Allah is speaking through you if your grammar is so atrocious
that he won't take you seriously?
Just be sure to give
us an accurate email address so we can return the
corrected message to you. And with all the veracity of an Islamic
fundamentalist, we can confidently tell you that our exclusive 512-bit
Super Secure Socket X-Layer
technology is uncrackable by any hacker anywhere, and we are therefore
able to keep our correspondence absolutely confidential. We will never forward your
email address to the infidel American FBI or CIA! Payment is through
PayPal.
